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  <your background>
1.Q Tell me about the first time you remember being thrilled.
1.A I’ve been fascinated with spanking for as long as i can remember. As a child, it was always thoughts of me being spanked, but as i grew, as did my obsession, more often then not, i became the spanker of my fantasies, and many experiences, both with my present wife, and other girls i’ve had relationships with in the past. Though on occasion i am still on the receiving end.
2.Q What’s the slightest thing to have thrilled you?
2.A At 3, I remember getting a Casper chalk board for my birthday. It was a regular chalk-board, but it had a cartoon strip around the boarder, and in one square, I believe it was Casper, but it was a long time ago and it may have been a secondary character, was administered a spanking, and i remember longingly wishing it was me, even back at 3 years old.
3.Q What’s the most frightening yet thrilling thing you’ve done?
3.A With every relationship i’ve ever been in, the initial revealing of my secret desire is always something terrifying, for fear of how it will be seen by whomever i’m developing a new relationship with. i’ve been pretty lucky in the past, and couldn’t feel more lucky about finding my wife of 5 years, who’s not only super understanding about ‘this’, but about everything. She’s my best friend.
4.Q Tell me why you’re not completely sensible.
4.A I’m far from what you could call sensible at all. i’ve had, and am presently having a rough time with drug addiction, depression, and some serious problems that my wife is dealing with, that are very rough on the both of us.
5.Q What’s the most uninhibited thing you’ve ever done?
5.A Before we were married, at a family reunion on Far Rockaway, we snuck away down to the beach, and made love under the stars, not 50 feet from a party of family members i had never met.
6.Q What have you considered doing for pleasure but were too concerned about the risks?
6.A I’ve pretty much always ignored the risks of my actions, which leads me generally into pretty hairy situations, but I feel that we’re here on this planet at this time to accumulate experiences, so one should go, for the most part, with their desires.


  <your thrill>
7.Q Describe the event in one sentence (there’s time to expand later)
7.A In every instance that i was ever spanked, which was never growing up, which i think added to the taboo and fascination, i was never able to completely let go, or to get it severe enough to cry, until one and only one time, about a month ago.
8.Q Tell me a bit about yourself around this time.
8.A My relationship was never stronger, as it was just before some powerfully painful experiences that my wife is now dealing with, but besides our normal financial and drug affiliated problems, it was a time of great closeness and happiness that i wish to someday and somehow return to.
9.Q List the sequence of events leading up to your thrill. Try to remember how you felt at each stage. The smallest detail could be important (this is your chance to expand).

Generally while on the receiving end of a spanking there is little fear of truly being out of control. Because even though She’s got a swing like a professional baseball player, and the pain induced by our oversized wooden hairbrush is intense to say the least, it never causes me anymore then to squeal out in pain.

On this particular instance however, as per my request from earlier conversations, She had no set number of whacks that She intended to go for, broke up alternating sessions with both that big brush and an extremely painful bamboo switch we got at the Rag Shop; with corner time, and enunciated Her displeasure with my actions that earned me the very severe discipline session verbally and with much harder whacks to really drive Her point home, and after my 3rd or 4th trip over Her knee, it was too much to deal with both physically and emotionally and my screams gave through to the most cathartic cry of my entire life.

10.Q What were your thoughts and feelings at the precise moment of thrill?
10.A The overwhelming feeling was one of love, comfort, and protection, and for at least a week afterwards i was like putty in Her hands.
11.Q What did you do afterwards?
11.A I curled up in Her arms and She held me as I cried out an entire life time of guilt and shame for everything i’ve ever done and got away with, and for how much in Her eternal debt i was and am for being the person to finally break down that wall for me.
12.Q What were the risks?
12.A There were no risks as we were already safely deep into our relationship, and this is a conquest that She had been trying to achieve with me for a long time.
13.Q What did you imagine other people thought of you during and after the event?
13.A Many people, probably especially people who were physically punished as children; of which i’m deeply against because i’ve seen the long lasting effects it causes in people i’m very close to, might not understand how it can cause such strong feelings of protection on the part of the receiver, depending on the mercy of the one punishing them, but again I know my wiring is far from normal, and this is a fascination that has been building in me for over a quarter of a century now, and my ideas of compassion and romance are very severe and extreme, but it’s who i am.
14.Q How often do you think about the event, and why?
14.A It was something i envisioned a lot before it happened, but since the actual event, it’s something that i carry inside, that can never be taken away from me.
15.Q Some people probably don’t understand how such a thing can thrill you; explain it to them.
15.A my answer to question 13 is probably my best explanation of how something which to one might be frightening and very unwanted for me after a life time of lament over not getting it, became the epitome of the extents of how compassion could be displayed.
16.Q What three changes could have made the experience better, and why?
16.A There is nothing that i would have changed, other then had it been done to me at a very young age, when i would have been completely in Her control, which is the safest feeling place i’ve ever been in.
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what do you find thrilling?