DUCK EGG ATTACK
LEITH, ISLE OF MAN
me about the first time you can remember being thrilled.
2.A Christmas 1974. Santa came to
visit school and gave me a pack of ‘colour-it-in’ biplanes.
The thrill was opening the gift at home. I remember the smell, the sellotape
and the cheap poor-coverage felt tips in colours that had nothing to do
been your most frightening thrill ever?
knocked off my bike by a car in Kingston
the smallest or slightest thing to have thrilled you?
the pettiest of quick witted jokes
me why you're not a sensible person.
5.A I didn’t
buy a house when prices were low. I don’t brush my teeth in the
mornings. I eat sausages even though I know they are full of the most
evil bits of meat. I don’t regularly check the brakes on my bicycle.
I agree to do things that are awkward or impossible at the time I am agreeing
to do them. I’m easily led.
were you doing the last time you were really bored?
a lifestyle/homes program on Channel 4
the most uninhibited thing you've ever done?
things have you considered doing for thrill, but were too concerned about
my bicycle off the pier wall in port erin. Ringing directory enquiries
and being abusive. Kissing a friends mother.
always dreamt about being a paramedic, driving an ambulance and saving
lives; what about you?
9.A No. The
blood would be too much and I’m a bad driver. I dream of lying sideways
in a wet clay-heavy field in the rain. I’m positioned near the gate
where the mud is at its most pliable and churned up. I’m just lying
there with a muddy face and when the evening draws in I’m instantly
back home with a hot fresh scone.
To answer these next 14 questions, you should
think about a particular time you were thrilled.
this thrill in a nutshell, in one sentence. (there's time to expand later)
10.A An early
morning duck egg attack on celebrating students
and when did it take place?
2am – Some time in June 1988. At the halls of residence complex
at the University of Bath
me a bit about yourself around this time.
12.A A first
year student at Bath University. Enjoying a period of friendship with
some naughty, but harmless, boys.
did the moment arise? Was it planned?
13.A It was
planned in the moment. The circumstances that led to the thrill were created
the sequence of events leading up to your thrill, and how you felt at
each stage. The smallest detail could be important (this is your chance
14.A It was
in the middle of the exams for us first year students so a good nights
sleep was a must. This was proving impossible with the raucous noise from
the house next door which was occupied by a group of third year students
in the throws of celebration. Myself with Tim and Dan, the other thrill
seekers, found ourselves in the kitchen discussing what to do. We decided
that simply asking the noisy graduates to quiten it down a bit would be
met with short shrift. It was at this time that the duck attack plan was
Earlier in the summer a Mallard had decided to
make her nest in the bushes outside of the kitchen window. She seemed
happy there on her clutch, but after a couple of weeks decided to leave.
No doubt too stressed by our daily disturbances to see how she was doing.
We put the eggs to good use with our protest salvo through the open window
into the room where the party was taking place.
The “what the..?” sounds, a few “urgghhs”
and a delicious bum note from a jolly guitar signalled that the mission
was a success.
the exact moment of thrill, how did your mind and body feel?
15.A The thrill
as a whole event consisted of a number of discreet thrills within the
Thrill. Though general feelings were of giddiness and accelerated heartbeat.
Not being able to talk without laughing.
The thrill of having the idea – naughtiness
The thrill of deciding it was an idea that would
be carried through
The thrill of throwing the eggs and causing a
disturbance. Freeing. Sharing. There was a rightness to it. An excitement
that the difference between getting away with it and being spotted was
a couple of seconds at best
The thrill of lying in bed waiting for revenge
to be reeked.- Enjoying having done something naughty and stupid and got
away with it
thoughts were going through your mind?
16.A I can’t
really remember the thoughts. Just images of the event. The facts of the
event and how I was feeling
did you do immediately afterwards?
17.A I suppose
central to the experience was creating the disturbance. So if I take that
as the apex, then afterwards I lay in bed listening intently to the gathering
of angry graduates pumping themselves up for revenge. After several hours
of slowing to a point of relaxation I went to sleep.
were other people important to your thrill?
18.A The more
I think about it the more people have a link and an importance within
the depth and nuances of the thrill. In a sort of six degrees of seperation
way many forces and people have conspired with the cosmos to give the
thrill its particular flavour.
To name a few. My mother who brought me up so
well and proper. The housing services manager who ruled the residences
with an iron rod. Margaret our house cleaner who was so excited about
the duck. Ian the electrical engineering undergraduate who enjoyed any
opportunity to snitch on bad Tim, Dan and Andy. Without all of their links
the thrill would have less of an edge.
But of those who had a more direct role in the
incident itself. Dan and Tim were important
as the sparks to the experience and as fellows with who to enjoy the moment.
The man with the guitar was critical in providing the perfect score to
capture the mood of the thrill. The chess players gave an added dimension,
a sort of after-thrill to the main event and ensured that for the rest
of my time at the university, each time I saw them in a bar or in a corridor,
the flame of this thrill kept burning, albeit only as a pilot light.
do you imagine other people were thinking throughout your thrilling episode?
19.A I reckon Tim and Dan were thinking
as I was. Knowing Dan, perhaps with a little more malicious glee than
The graduates I imagine were feeling violated
(like Catherine Zeta Jones) and thinking that they had done nothing to
The midnight chess players were no doubt feeling
very confused. Innocent pawns in the whole affair
people probably don't understand how such a thing can thrill you; could
you explain it to them?
20.A Oh yes.
I could talk about it for hours.
were certain objects or equipment important to your thrill?
21.A In this
instance the eggs were very important as they were, we imagined containing
half formed chicks, and therefore far more impactful than normal eggs
or buckets of water may have been. Important because they added to the
sense of wrong-doing, and stoked the fire of the perceived revenge attack.
The guitar – The guitar produced a final
painful chord almost as soon as we heard the first egg crack open. It
played no more. This signalled the success of our actions. In turning
the energy of the party on its head. It was no longer about getting them
to shut up a much as pissing them off for disturbing us.
you've done something like this before, how does the last time compare
to the first time you did it?
22.A Only done
you did it again, what things could be added or changed to make it even
eggs or bigger eggs. Perhaps being chased around a bit by the angry mob
before making it back to my room undiscovered. More people at the party
to be disturbed. A more beautiful guitar sound. A bigger duvet to hide
Is there anything you want to add?