I removed my clothes, as he instructed. I leaned against the Rack and he began putting chains around my ankles, wrists and elbows. Then, he locked me on and I literally could not move, at all. He then inserted a ball-gag and put on a blind-fold. I was drooling everywhere because of the ball-gag and it was humiliating. He then took out clothespins and applied them around my breasts, on my nipples, my inner and outer labia and my hood/clitoris. I whined, cried and struggled with each application. The pain was felt strongly, but it was a good pain. I could feel a release, like orgasm, but less physical. He whispered to me that he was going to remove the pins (about ten minutes had elapsed by this time).

With each one that was removed the pain was ten times worse. He started at the breasts, which had grown numb, but as he removed them, the blood rushed back in and I cried out slightly. He played with the pins that were on my genitalia for a while and I knew those were going to hurt badly. He removed the labial ones first. I screamed out. He removed the ball gag, blindfold and restraints.

I had to stand, shaky-legged and whimpered and watched as he reached down to remove the one on my hood/clit. When it was removed, a sensation of burning and tenderness rushed through me. I fell forward into his arms, crying and screaming. The pain was more intense than any I had ever felt. He then bent me over the bed, without giving me a breather and flogged me until I fell into what can only be described as a sub-space feeling. He held me and I fell asleep.

You know how you want something really badly, like a new car or something as simple as some cool shoes? Well, imagine that those simple desires were unacceptable. Imagine that if you told anyone you wanted those shoes, they would grimace, judge and make judgments about you that you knew were not true.

Now, imagine u found a store that carried these the shoes and you went in. Around you were people just like you who also wanted those shoes. You could look at them all you wanted, talk about them and wear them around the store. Then, remember that you have to go back out where people don’t understand, where they will ridicule you. That is how I feel. In my home, in my mind, I am safe to express myself through pain, bondage, and servitude. In the outside, there are few places I can do that. Imagine you had something like that you had to hide.