about the first time you remember being thrilled.
when I went to London on a weeks holiday aged 3 and a half.
My dad took me round all the big museums and places of interest.
I loved every minute of it. Especially the dinosaurs in the
Natural History and the squirrels in St James Park. I loved
all of it, the smell, the buildings, EVERYTHING. My little head
|What’s the slightest thing
to have thrilled you?
sunsets and sunrises, cloud formations, having to go out in
sleety rain, reading a good book, cup of tea in bed, watching
the cat sleep and this morning it was opening the advent calendar!
|What’s the most frightening
yet thrilling thing you’ve done?
|I did an
abseil for charity that went wrong, and I was left hanging by
my hair for about half an hour! It all worked out OK, and I
was remarkably calm. I think a few people were put off, but
it didn’t stop me from doing more. I also went with a
friend and her father on a pleasure flight along the Menai Straights
in Wales. I sat in the front and half way thru the trip, the
pilot took his hands off the joystick and let me take over the
steering. I was only 14!
why you’re not completely sensible.
to begin. I don’t have a credit card, no desire to have
kids, I gave up a 15K/year job, I smoke and enjoy it, I shout
at the TV, I wear purple now instead of waiting till I get old,
I love rollercoaster’s and candyfloss, I love the smell
of dogs ears and puppy breath and consider myself to have certain
childlike qualities. I’m not childish or anything, I just
think I haven’t grown up yet.
the most uninhibited thing you’ve ever done?
once from a Landrover window. I’m quite shy
you considered doing for pleasure but were too concerned about
not risks that stop me from doing things, it’s time and
money. I’d be on the next rocket off the planet if it
the event in one sentence (there’s time to expand later)
I realised religion wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.
a bit about yourself around this time.
|I was 27
years old. Separated from my husband and living with my new
partner. I’d had a termination and was very unhappy at
work. I’d always considered myself a Christian, but something
wasn’t right. My mind set and those of other Christians
I knew were nothing like each other. I began to question and
got no answers, so I asked outside the Christian community and
sequence of events leading up to your thrill. Try to remember
how you felt at each stage. The smallest detail could be important
(this is your chance to expand).
said earlier, I’d always considered myself a ‘christian’,
all my life up to about 27 years old. I hadn’t been
a goody 2 shoes by any stretch of ones imagination. In fact
quite the opposite on occasion! Then I read ‘The Holy
Blood and The Holy Grail’, and certain things fell into
place. I’d had this particular book for many years,
but never got round to reading it. I tried, but always put
it down. When I did finally read it, I couldn’t put
it down.. It was so well written and researched that I thought
to myself these people need to be considered seriously! They’re
intelligent and have some very good evidence that suggests
what I’m being told in church isn’t really all
that kosher (pardon the pun!).
I guess I experienced a reverse of Saul’s conversion.
The scales fell from my eyes and I realised the church, from
my point of view, was a big fat lie. Everything I’d
been brought up to believe was true didn’t make sense
anymore. It was a gradual process, something this big, effectively
my whole way of life, was being brought into question. I did
have a ‘see the light’ moment when I thought ‘Oh
f**k it’s all too much what am I going to do’.
I felt very let down and critical towards the church.
I don’t have a problem with people’s beliefs
and faiths, but I do have a problem when lies are told just
for control. It was quite worrying at first, but when I’d
sorted things out in my head, I realised I was probably more
spiritual and had a better understanding of the actual nature
of religion, not necessarily the faith aspect.
your thoughts and feelings at the precise moment of thrill?
elated, sad, angry. I had a moment when I seemed to ‘see’
everything as it truly is. That was quite awesome. The information
seemed to metaphorically enter my left eye (my left ‘minds
eye’ if you like) and hit the back of my head with a flash
you do afterwards?
had a smoke and a cup of tea.
Plenty…smelly clothes, no cash, but there was no real
risk with my change in thought pattern. I guess the risks were
I could have got lost in worrying, but it wasn’t like
that. I went from strength to strength. I guess other Christians
would say I’d be going straight to hell, but that’s
never bothered me. Look at this world and we’re almost
you imagine other people thought of you during and after the
didn’t really concern any one else only me. My parents
were rather upset about my change in attitude, but as I say
it wasn’t the individuals and their faith I had a problem
with, it was the church…ANY church.
do you think about the event, and why?
but not in any detail. I can still remember the minds eye incident
probably don’t understand how such a thing can thrill
you; explain it to them.
came from the realisation there was more to life and what is
physically there for us to see than I ever had experienced before.
What greater thrill is there than the truth?
changes could have made the experience better, and why?
wouldn’t be the same experience if I changed anything.
anything you want to add?
filling this in, it was quite thought provoking. Hope you don’t
think I’m a religious/anti religious nut. It has nothing
to do with religion as such, it’s more the truth I’m
interested in. Also, I hope I didn’t go on too much.